why oh why?

I enjoy eating the following foods in large quantities:

Haribo
Sour apple sweets
Peanut butter
Salted popcorn
Mashed banana
Capers (on their own)
Tinned prunes

But how to enjoy them freely? Should I become a social outcast (a tablespoon of capers and a bowl of peanut butter for tea)? Or obese (eat tea and then sneak back to the kitchen for a tablespoon of capers and a bowl of peanut butter)?

Ah, to know such trials is to know what it is to be truly alive...........