Wednesday, October 10, 2007

self perception's a funny old thing.

I am not a large person. But there are days when I become convinced I'm fat. This is sometimes due to the wonders of the monthly hormone tournament, but not always. Today I was feeling fed up about being flabby. I then went to the gym and, surrounded by mirrors, felt pleased with a reassuringly thin reflection of myself. What a wally!

Generally, I don't do too badly at avoiding the world's obsession with looks. But maintaining a healthy self-image is a struggle.

Preoccupation with how I think others 'perceive' me is another tendency of mine. It can get extreme: without realising it, I can act, speak and decide things just because they fit with my automatic analysis of others' expectations of me at a given moment.

These are not good things, really. I will try to enjoy and be free in who I am (externally and internally.) That's harder said than done in a society obsessed with image and immediacy. But it has to be possible, nontheless. And, in the words of that great inspirational force, L'Oreal, I'm worth it!

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