Monday, September 19, 2016

Me versus Movie

Feeling rather battered after our weekend's movie menu.

The Revenant followed by Room is an intense and demanding pairing, even for the most worldly critic. I was a quivering wreck by bedtime Sunday.

Be thankful for small mercies: I didn't catch The Revenant on the big screen.

My advice? If you want to become a bit more determined in your endeavour to avoid bear attacks, you really should see it. I am almost evangelistic now on the topic of bear danger. Even if you're Leonardo DiCaprio, you really must avoid bears. If you are unfortunate enough to encounter a bear and it has its way with you, your next best option is to die quickly.

If you fail on both these counts, it will be easier for the rest of us if you live out your last days off camera.

Similarly, if you are abducted at 17, locked in a shed for 7 years and raped repeatedly, you ought to give serious thought to the impact on viewers of any screen rendition.

Battered though I may be, these are fabulous films. My body did not relax once during Revenant, so totally gripped by its breathtaking might was I. Room tells a tale of life, love and redemption strong enough to take on evil, enslavement and hatred. It is the story of a world-conquering bond between a mother and child.

If you want to spar gently with your movie, these are not for you. If you're up for a life-affirming, sweaty, bloody, snotty, juggernaut of a fist fight with a film, you won't be sorry you picked 'em. 

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