Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Baby bubble


Everything about parenthood is intense and extreme. There are no 'okay' moments, - it's either amazingly wonderful or unbearably awful.

I have my fair share of desperate half hours. But during those that are sublime, I realise that living thousands of miles away from friends and family in sub-zero temperatures with none of my regular activities or pastimes to partake in ... is actually rather good.

There is no need to worry that I'm not keeping up with people, because I can't. There is no need to mourn the fact I can no longer get to orchestra, church, fitness classes or social occasions. Because I never started doing them here (that much, anyway.) There is less temptation to wish I had my old life back because even without the babies I couldn't recreate it in this context.

I can't even get in a flap about stupid little things, like not having chance to cook dinner. Our diet and culinary habits are so different in Edmonton that the rarity of an Anna-cooked meal, just one other change on top of many, goes largely unnoticed.

This is my baby bubble, for however long it lasts. And it's different in every sense to what has gone before.

The question (of course I still question myself - some things never change!) is, whether it would be more sensible to try to invest in the longer-term aspects of life despite the fact this is probably a temporary home. My babies will not be babies, or even children, for very long. But I will be me, with my quirks, abilities and needs, for the rest of my life. By not attempting to invest myself in things other than motherhood, am I missing out? Am I holding onto things that are better given away?




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