Sunday, April 13, 2008

time present, time future and all that....

Having a two-year job, building up to a specific project, is strange. Just as you're most preoccupied with (or stressed out by??) the task in hand, you're most conscious of its pending completion.

Freelancers or the self-employed face that kind of feeling all the time, of course. But people like me, with a touch of the control freak and a shedload of the pessimist thrown in, will avoid it if possible.

Thankfully, and even remarkably with five months to go, I'm almost certain the next step is sorted. But the strangeness remains, as now I feel torn between the demands of current responsibilities and those of a shadowy future that needs planning........

I find most things in life strange, and emotionally draining. That's just my weird old nature. But I think it's true to say that, reflecting on previous 'changes' in life, I am getting better at trusting God. I am getting better at seeking first the kingdom and believing that all other things will be added. The unknown is exciting, at least some of the time.

They say you get less able to cope with change as you get older. Not true for me thus far. (But perhaps 'older' refers to over 30? I shall no doubt become madly neurotic in later life. Such joys Jon faces........)

2 comments:

Lucy said...

Will you have to leave your job after the conference? Or might they offer you something else?

St said...

Congratulations?